Communication and disagreements

  

One situation that I experienced was where I felt like the truth wasn’t being told at work.  There was a colleague that constantly told things about people that weren’t true which led to hostile feelings and frustration.  There were people that wanted to quit over this one person.  Our boss didn’t see the deception until it was too late.  People started going to the office to talk about their issues and that’s when our boss realized the severity of the situation.  Because the staff didn’t know how to handle this person there were a lot of words and emotions that were passed from person to person that weren’t nice and kind.  Once our boss saw the issue for what it was she was able to handle it and gather the troops back into a positive environment. 

            I think that the strategies that could have been used would have been for the staff to share their issues with the boss before the situation got out of hand and from there discussed with the lady that was at the center of the conflict about how they didn’t care for the way she was conducting herself around them.  They could have sat down and talked about ways to walk away from her when she started conversations like that and they could have come together as a group to find positive ways to redirect her attention so that it wouldn’t be so negative.  I think that if we had gone to the boss as a group before it had gotten so bad then the situation wouldn’t have progressed so negatively.  The 3 R’s would have been appropriate…Respect other people, respond with positive words and actions instead of negative ones, and show positive reciprocations instead of negative interactions. 

References:

The Third Side.  Retrieved: July 26, 2012.  http://www.thirdside.org/

Communication assesments

When I looked at the assessments this week I was surprised to see that the 2 other people thought that I was a good listener and that I tried to stay away from arguments (Communication Anxiety Inventory).  I felt this about myself but I didn’t realize how others perceived me.  It is good to know that I am putting off the vibes that I work hard at.  I want people to feel comfortable talking to me and knowing that I will listen and try to help them with their problems.

The other insights that I gained this week are once again people are different.  The 2 people that I spoke with stated how they don’t always handle situations the same.  My husband stated that he is shy and will run from any opportunity to speak in public but he is not as good as listening as he felt that I was.  My co-teacher states that she doesn’t like public speaking either but that she views herself as a good listener and a person that is willing to help others.  I also realize that in order to communicate you have to listen and carry yourself in a manner that will be received by others. 

Listening will help with both my personal and professional lives because it gives me the opportunity to hear what those that I care about have to say.  This is important to me because by nature I love to help others and I can’t do that if I am not willing to hear their thoughts and concerns. 

I feel that I have to carry myself in a way that will invite people to want to talk to me.  My husband works with a lady that is always loud and willing to start a confrontation.  He talks about how his other colleagues don’t want to do projects with her because she is always stirring up trouble.  In this situation this person has closed the door to others communicating with her because she isn’t allowing people to discuss issues at hand without putting others on the spot.  One of the questions asked in the survey was when do you lash out at others when you don’t have solutions to a problem (Communication Anxiety Inventory)?  I think that this is what this person is doing.

References:

Communication Anxiety Inventory.  Retrieved: July 18, 2012.  n.laureatemedia.com/2dett4d/Walden/EDUC/6165/04/mm/quiz/quiz_communication/index.html.

Sommunicating differently with different people

I do communicate differently with people of different groups.  I think that we all do.  For example: I talk to the pastor differently than I would talk to my family or friends.  Even though I might joke and play I am careful to make sure that my words are positive and godly.  I also talk to my boss differently than I talk to my co-workers.  My co-teachers and I play, discuss things that are bothering us at work, etc but my boss can’t always relate to the conversation so it is hard to share those experiences with her.

I feel that three strategies that I would use to communicate differently would be:

-Listen (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011).  (I need to listen and make sure that I understand what is being stated before I respond.  I need to be mindful that whoever is talking to me is trying to express their feelings and thoughts so I need to take the time to understand before I start to share my feelings.)

-Use the “Platinum Rule” (O’Hair, & Wiemann, 2009).  (I need to respond to people in a way that makes them feel that I am trying to respect and understand their thoughts and feelings even if I disagree.  I need to show concern for others regardless of their situation or backgrounds).

-I need to be open minded (Vuckovic, 2008).  (I need to make sure that I am not making judgments on people because of race, religion, gender, situations, etc.  I need to make sure that I am looking at the situation for what it is and not for who is in it).  

References:

  Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011).  Retrieved: July 10, 2012.   Interpersonal c  communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

  O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Retrieved: July 10, 2012.   Real communication: An introduction.  

  New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

Vuckovic, A. (2008).  Retrieved: July 10, 2012.   Inter-cultural communication: A foundation of communicative action. Multicultural Education and Technology Journal, 2(1), 47–59.

communication through TV

Communication and tv.

I watched The Mentalist for the first time.  The commercials seemed interesting to me because it reminded me of one of my favorite shows Psych.  I watched it with the volume off at first.

What do you think the characters’ relationships are based on the ways in which they are communicating?

Looking at the interactions of the characters I saw them as a team.  They talked a lot to each other and were always around each other.

What are they feeling and expressing based on the nonverbal behavior you are observing?

I saw confused faces, fingers pointing, and embracing of victims’ families.

Now, watch the show with the sound turned on.

What assumptions did you make about the characters and plot based on the ways in which you interpreted the communication you observed?

I first tried to decide who was in charge on the show because the person that appeared to be the one that everyone kept reporting to wasn’t the person that was solving the cases.  I assumed that a man had feelings for one of the detectives by the way he looked at her and continued to try to be around her.

Would your assumptions have been more correct if you had been watching a show you know well?

My assumptions probably would have been better had I been more familiar with the show because I could have had the background information on the characters and the makeup of the program.

Write about your experience in your blog, including what you learned about communication from this experience and insights or “aha” moments you believe would be helpful to your colleagues.

Aha moments that I had watching this show was that you can look at the way people move and their body language and detect some of their feelings.  However, you still have to be careful because everyone might use the same action for different reasons.  For example, someone yelling might not be in anger but they might be trying to warn someone of danger.

Communication and Collaboration in Early Childood

         I like the way President Obama holds his temper.  I have seen blatant disrespect of him on television that I personally know that I would not be able to keep my cool if I were in the same situation.  I don’t think that you have to like everything a person stands for and you certainly don’t have to agree but I do think that each person deserves respect without the hidden racism or criticisms that he often receives.  This may be just because he is the president but either way I feel that someone else in these situations might respond differently.

            I think that his calm demeanor helps to keep situations under control and encourages respect of

 others.  I would want to model myself after him because I have dealt with racism and it is not always easy

to maintain a sense of composure.  For me, keeping my cool and showing others is the ultimate sign of my

strength because I feel that it would take a lot to show people that I can be Godly even if they aren’t.

Personal hopes and goals

            One hope that I would have for myself with regards to working with children and families from diverse backgrounds is that I would be open minded and accepting.  I would hope that I would take the time to get to know the student and their parents before making conclusions about their religion, home environment, and culture.  I would want the same applied to me so I can only reach out and expand my knowledge about people that might come from different backgrounds than me so that I can continue to strive to be the best teacher that I can be.

            One goal that I would like to set for the education field regarding diversity, equity, and social justice would be to inform others of the importance of education and what it takes to help children succeed regardless of their backgrounds.  I think that children from all areas of the globe deserve the opportunity to receive quality education and I think that it should be standard regardless of where you live.  In my opinion children that live in less than favorable conditions should have quality education and services that would help them become great students and want to be positive members of society.  I feel that in order to do this we have to recognize each student as an individual and respect the student’s differences so that we are learning as teachers while we are teaching our students.

            I would like to thank all of my fellow classmates that have given a voice to this topic and that have shared their experiences with me.  I think that as long as we keep pushing forward in a positive manner we can help make our communities better a little bit at a time.  Enjoy your future classes.

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

As I child I never felt that there was prejudices against me.  Even though I grew up in the projects I never realized that they were projects until I was much older.  I felt that there were biases against Blacks as I go older.  I remember that there were two community centers in our neighborhood.  One that was used mostly by the Blacks and one that was used mostly by the Whites.  Although no one ever said that we had to use one facility or the other it was understood by some that there should have been that division.  Well with my ignorance to the situation I usually went to the mostly White facility.  What I found there was that the people were very nice and respectful. I swam and enjoyed the company of my friends.  I also found that I was more comfortable there.  The facility was nicer and the atmosphere was better.  I think that when we cause divisions in our communities it creates an element of anger and hatred.  It’s hatred for those who don’t think that you are as special as they are but also hatred for yourself.  You want to change who you are to fit in and that’s never an okay scenario.

I believe that this incident diminished equity by encouraging one race of people to feel more dominant than another.  I also feel that it allowed the less dominant culture to feel as though they weren’t good enough which caused them to develop low self esteem issues and issues of low self worth.  On the flip side I think that when this happens communities begin to rally together to make changes for the better good of the people.  My community tried to embrace and bring people together.  We began sharing the centers and there were always events at both centers that invited others to come and take part in.

For me this incident was a learning experience because it allowed me to see that people were afraid.  They were afraid of things that they didn’t know and of change.  I think that this was true on both sides of the color barriers.  People are often afraid of things that are out of the norm for them.  If they feel that change is about to happen and it isn’t what they are use to then it causes them to panic.  Instead of embracing the changes that are for the good of man we tend to shy away and fight to keep things the same.

In order for this incident to become better in the equity department I think that change would have to start inside of one person and move on to the next.  I think that if one person changes the way that they think then maybe the next person will change and so on and so forth.  I believe that if we work together with our communities to make changes it will catch on and eventually people will start to see the importance of caring for others that are different than themselves.